Lessons in negotiation

I remember being told at a management training session held many years ago that ‘In business as in life, you don't get what you deserve, you get what you negotiate’.  It turns out that this is the title of a book by Chester L Karrass and while I have not read the book and would like to think that karma still applies at some level, there is no doubt that improving your negotiation skills can take you further in life.

Some years later, while working as the Managing Director of a Boeing subsidiary here in Melbourne, I got the opportunity to attend a number of their executive leadership training sessions in St Louis, Mississippi, USA. These were amazingly insightful, practical and useful and one of the sessions was about ‘negotiation skills’ to be presented by Boeing’s chief management negotiator with the unions. This should be good I was thinking, expecting to see a well-built, non-nonsense imposing character, possibly sporting tattoos and with a booming powerful voice. Instead, out walks this very normal looking bloke, well-groomed and well spoken, but what he had to say remains with me to this very day. His theme was very much about understanding the other person’s position and using assertiveness to ensure a win-win outcome as far as possible. I will never forget a key comment he shared namely that “before I go into a negotiation session, in my mind, I am writing the other party’s victory speech”.

How amazing is that? The ability and presence of mind to really be clear on what the other party wants out of the meeting? This necessarily requires the ability to listen extremely well.  According to Stephen R Covey, people often listen with the intent to respond, but his quote is most relevant in such situations:

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

 This mirrors another of my favourite quotes by Henry Ford that:

“If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from their point of view as well as your own.”

Fundamentally, the above is all about ‘assertiveness’ and a good way to interpret this word in a business context is ‘ensuring that the needs of both you and the other party are met’. Notice the emphasis on needs as opposed to wants. Both are highly likely to be expressed during a negotiation, but fundamentally it is the needs of both parties that should ideally be accommodated. Meeting the wants is icing on the cake.

Assertion is therefore not about getting your own way, but striving for win-win outcomes in which both parties come away feeling good about the outcome. While on the face of it you may think it really doesn’t matter whether the other party gets their way or not, winning at the expense of someone else is not a great place to be and invariably will come back on the aggressor down the line anyway.

In summary, really understand what the other party needs and play fair.

Ian Ash ACC, AInstIB
Managing Director OrgMent Talent Solutions - www.ombs.com.au